In the past few weeks, I can’t help but think of what should I really be doing in my life right now. I am currently employed in an office in Ortigas and at the same time, I am writing stories, editing my manuscript and working as an ambassador of Wattpad. Amidst all these things that I have on my plate right now, sometimes, I stop and wonder if these are the things that I wanted to do.
I mean yes, writing and working as a Wattpad Filipino Ambassador have been two of the most fulfilling things that occurred in my life but I know that these wouldn’t last forever. I wanted to do something that would me make learn and grow more as a person.
Growing up, I never thought of a career path that I wanted to take. When I was younger, I was a part of the bandwagon that wanted to be a doctor when I grow up. But after some time, I realized that I couldn’t take dissecting frogs and other whatnots and so I chose to tick off being a doctor on the list.
Picking a course in college was even difficult for me which made me shift from Computer Engineering to Tourism. Imagine the difference of those two courses. It’s like deciding to travel to Pluto from our moon. When I started taking up subjects in Tourism, people will ask me “Why shift to Tourism?”. I would then stop for a while and ask myself that same question. At that time, my generic answer would always be “Well, there are a lot of opportunities in this field.” but right now, I realized that it was not as easy as it seemed.
Travelling always had a soft spot in my heart. Sometimes, I want to leave my job and opt to the travel to different places. But we all know that it wouldn’t be feasible. I still need funds for me to be able to travel. With that in mind, I would then search for jobs that would enable me to travel to a lot of places. After looking at the results of my research, another wave of realization would hit me. That I may not be cut out for those jobs.
A lot of negative thoughts have been bugging me and sometimes, I feel like going crazy. It makes me feel desperate to find something that I could really call my career but I do not know where to start looking. I just wish that there would be a way for me to know which would be better for me.